age

Posted on August 19, 2019July 20, 2019 Posted in backlogTagged blog, blogger, blogging, blogs, book, books, happiness, inspiration, life, mental health, read, reader, reading, sadness, self-help, write, writer, writingLeave a comment

I was just 14 last year, no one told me when you become old it comes up behind you surreptitiously like a clandestine backstabber and kills you with its rustic blade of tormented time. I wasn’t aware of the state the body takes when given over to the eternal flow of the beast of time. just last year, just last year, just last year, I was so many things, I feel like this time that has past…..encapsulated too little, maybe this comes from my self-isolation from the drama of daily existence, my insistence on a tranquil, but consequently mundane life.

Movie Marathon 2

Posted on August 18, 2019July 20, 2019 Posted in backlog, recapTagged blog, blogger, blogging, blogs, book, books, dead man, donnie darko, happiness, horror, inspiration, life, mental health, movie, read, reader, reading, sadness, self-help, write, writer, writingLeave a comment

Movie Marathon 2!!!

I’m not sure if I should be calling these marathons, I mean each movie is distinct and different from the last, but here are the movies I’ve watched tonight alone:

Donnie Darko (again)

Devil’s Path

Slacker

and last and arguably best: Dead Man…

All of them were amazing though in their own unique respects. Devil’s Path had a nice plot with really cool elements of mystery and a connection at the end that tied the whole movie together, I did skip portions of the movie though. Slacker was just utterly fulfilling, I don’t think I’ve ever watched a film with so many characters, and what’s weird is that even though it jumps around, the characters aren’t shallow, their viable and strong, each person adding to the overall halcyon mood of the movie. If Richard Linklater was trying to convey the amicable environment of 1990s Austin, I think he did it. It provides hope for humanity! Haha, the fact that it’s so casual makes a society like that seem actually possible, I just can’t see that here where I live. That’s why I want to visit Austin…I wonder if it’s still like that? Keeping an eye out for Boyhood, which is getting REALLY good reviews. Anyways, yes DEAD MAN. Film by Jim Jarmusch 1995 with Johnny Depp. The whole story is set in black and white, and the filming fades in and out of blackness with a lot of transitions. This was a hero’s journey, when watching this I couldn’t help but draw on archetypes; Nobody as the Sage, Bill as the Outcast variant of the Hero, Colin Wilson as the Villain and embodiment of evil. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment Bill turns into a killer, and I don’t really know, maybe if I watched it again. I thought at first it was after he went to take a piss, but that doesn’t sound like a very transformative experience, so I’m thinking maybe the night before when Nobody leaves him. All this literary analysis is stemming from Dante’s Inferno, something we’re reading in English right now. Three beasts, three hunters. Rivers, contrasts between Christianity and Shamanistic religions. Bill sharing the same name as the famous English poet William Blake was a detail whose significance I haven’t picked up yet. The wound he has from the bullet that went through Thela is also important. Theme’s of death, the afterlife, corruptive love, greed, morality, and the battle between good and evil. Also character development of Bill is extraordinary. The markings on his face, isolation from both societies (West and Indian), fawn scene with the vertical blood marking….There are also characters I’m not too sure about, like the three people at the campfire, one dressed as a women, the fireman from the beginning, and, well everyone on a certain level, some more than others.

New Crush

Posted on August 17, 2019July 20, 2019 Posted in backlogTagged blog, blogger, blogging, blogs, book, books, gay boy, happiness, inspiration, life, mental health, queer, read, reader, reading, sadness, self-help, write, writer, writingLeave a comment

I just had a great cry, shedding tears over gay teen issues and the burden of secrets. ____ is the new subject of my intense emotional whirlwinds, and he might prove to be the most obstinate yet, never have I cried over a boy so early on in a crush. He seems to be equally parts mentally and socially gifted, it’s extraordinary! Watching him interact with gossipy girls makes me feel like Norma Bates watching Norman talk with that rebellious girl. I’m not sure when he entered so prominently into my consciousness, but thanks to it, the last boy has been pushed to the sidelines. This was also partly due to my identification of a flaw in the previous crush. ____ is seemingly inviolable right now in his life decisions, skills, and looks. His shoes have become a sort of symbol for me. The way he buttons up his polos all the way up. His aquiline nose, angled face, and bright eyes. Although his physical appearance is nice, his mental features are definitely the most alluring attribute of him. He has a great standard of morality that includes toleration and open-mindedness. When his multitude of friends become too excessive or prejudice in certain things, he displays an admirable amount of toleration and even corrects them in a completely amicable way. He seems to be able to interact with anyone and everyone, marked by his surroundings which are constantly filled with talkative friends. Even though he is very sociable, he is also reserved and pensive when he needs to be. Watching him take a test is….actually very creepy, I don’t do that. Anyways, I don’t know, but at the same time I do. ___ ____ is an incredible person, I’m just unlucky enough to be the gay creeper to fall in love with him.

long, lucid memory of its beginning

Posted on August 16, 2019July 20, 2019 Posted in backlogTagged blog, blogger, blogging, blogs, book, books, happiness, inspiration, life, mental health, read, reader, reading, sadness, self-help, write, writer, writingLeave a comment

Well tumblr has ads now, one of them just erased a paragraph of information I was drafting. I think I’m safe now, so lets get on with it. In laconic style, Saturday was short but also long, lucid memory of its beginning and United States of TARA to blame.